it's smothering just as much as burdens feel lighter until the next bill that i receive from my provider. every time i gaze back it's something i'm discovering in the pics from outside the lines where i was coloring. every interaction feels like netcode's buffering. Still searching for a meaning to this suffering. tied to this earth, i am under its weight. tied to the feeling my life's on display. tied to the green cause i've been feeling blue. tied to an image that's been misconstrued. vitamin d stay out my life they'll do me like buffy if i step into light.
I'm crossing my t's, dotting my i's, taking my e, staying inside. reaper man coming for me, reaper man coming so. i just need to break out, this shit is played out.Ĭan i get a redo, can i get a reroll? every second of the day feels like i'm fighting for control from the cradle to the pain to the center of a hole. i never ever gave a thought to the easy way out. There's no pause on life unlike my gba every other joy i've got seemed to depreciate. kicking and screaming like, "don't you see what i am pit against?" i played a masterful role with my anatomy: drift aimless was my strategy, grasping at my sanity, grappling with vanity and inciting calamity.īut what happens when calamity is calm? nobody's feeling angry, they just analyze your palms and i'm feeling wronged, as if i am a kid again. and you're pressed to believe the life that i perceived left me feeling broken-hearted and deceived?īut i can't let that rattle me, i stand and thank academy. I was looking for reprieve looking for a reason i could leave or a way to disappear where no one would ever grieve. When you come to do it, could you kill me while i'm laughing? could you kiss me while i'm passing away? when you come to do it, would you kill me while i'm smiling? could you take me while i'm wide awake?
when will they put me out on my ass?Įvery day it's another debt, another truth that i can't accept. she ain't happy with the changes but she'll get it when i'm smiling forever. peace and blessings to my mama, hate to see her dishonored. forgetting self-expression is that true americana. what, you never let your mind wander?ĭrinking all the kool aid and reading up on propaganda. you're judging on the low but saying, "do it how you wanna." fishes in the water ain't coy when they're piranhas lurking under surface water. the life that i choose is not your soaps or melodrama. phobes may try to slay me, rearrange me into baby food,īut i'm done with blue hell and my constant melancholia. can't say i'm unafraid of the fate that they'll arraign me to.
do they want what makes me happy or prefer i don't offend?Įxcuse me if it's a sin for getting comfy in my skin, but i've been living outside of god's light since something like 2010. i'm praying that my family ain't praying for my death. feeling in my stomach turns to existential dread. Letter in the mail flipped my world on top its head.
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